How long can temper tantrums last

Beware of thinking that your child is having a tantrum just to annoy you. Draw up a chart with four columns. Record the day of the tantrum, where it happened, what happened just before it, and what happened right afterwards. What happens after a tantrum can make tantrums more or less likely in the future. Can you see ways tantrums are being accidentally rewarded by what you do when or after they happen?

For example, if your child has a tantrum because you say no to buying him a lolly but then you buy the lolly, this rewards the tantrum. Shouting or pleading with your child when he tantrums can also be a reward, because it gives your child attention.

Children are more likely to repeat behaviour that earns praise. This means you can use praise to change behaviour. If particular situations are triggers, you might be able to avoid these situations or make them less stressful.

For example, if your child often has a tantrum when you go shopping, you could try:. But be sure that you follow through on having your child complete the task after she is calm. Kids who are in danger of hurting themselves or others during a tantrum should be taken to a quiet, safe place to calm down. This also applies to tantrums in public places.

If a safety issue is involved and a toddler repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold the child firmly for several minutes. Be consistent. Don't give in on safety issues. Preschoolers and older kids are more likely to use tantrums to get their way if they've learned that this behavior works. For school-age kids, it's appropriate to send them to their rooms to cool off while paying little attention to the behavior. Rather than setting a specific time limit, tell your child to stay in the room until he or she regains control.

This is empowering — kids can affect the outcome by their own actions, and thus gain a sense of control that was lost during the tantrum. But if the time-out is for a tantrum plus negative behavior such as hitting , set a time limit. Do not reward your child's tantrum by giving in. This will only prove to your little one that the tantrum was effective.

Kids may be especially vulnerable after a tantrum when they know they've been less than adorable. Now when your child is calm is the time for a hug and reassurance that your child is loved, no matter what. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep. With too little sleep, kids can become hyper, disagreeable, and have extremes in behavior. Getting enough sleep can dramatically reduce tantrums.

Most kids' sleep needs fall within a set range of hours based on their age, but each child has his or her own sleep needs. Your doctor also can check for any health problems that may add to the tantrums, although this is not common. Sometimes, hearing or vision problems, a chronic illness, language delays, or a learning disability can make kids more likely to have tantrums.

Remember, tantrums usually aren't cause for concern and generally stop on their own. Already Have an Account? What is BabySparks? However, tantrums can occasionally point to other problems, and the earlier parents act, the more support and intervention a child can receive.

They last a long time most tantrums last five minutes or less. Your child tries to hurt themselves. With the support of parents and pediatricians, toddlers can learn ways to work through their emotions to lessen the severity of tantrums. These red flags, especially when more than one applies to your child, may indicate an underlying problem that needs additional support: His tantrums are very frequent. His tantrums last a long time.

He tries to hurt himself or others. All rights reserved. Step 2 of 2. Show them you love them by praising good behaviour and giving them plenty of cuddles when they're not behaving badly. Find a big space, such as a park, and encourage your child to run and shout.

Letting your child know that you recognise their feelings will make it easier for them to express themselves without hurting anyone else. You could try saying things like: "I know you're feeling angry about … ". As well as showing you recognise their frustration, it will help them be able to name their own feelings and think about them. If you're seriously concerned about your child's behaviour, talk to your health visitor or GP.

You could also visit the Family Lives website for more advice on tantrums , or phone their free helpline for parents on Page last reviewed: 3 January Next review due: 3 January Temper tantrums.

These ideas may help you cope with tantrums when they happen. Toddler tantrum tips Find out why the tantrum is happening Your child may be tired or hungry, in which case the solution is simple. Understand and accept your child's anger You probably feel the same way yourself at times, but you can express it in other ways. Find a distraction If you think your child is starting a tantrum, find something to distract them with straight away.

Wait for it to stop Losing your temper or shouting back won't end the tantrum.